Exes and being friends with them

I have been in contact with my exes lately.

And not one, not two, maybe even not 3..

I have had 2 big loves in my life and i always wondered what if,,,

Being honest than for years i had still feelings for someone, little while ago we met and we had our goodbye. We always stayed in touch and friends.

We still talk and send messages every now and again i will always have warm feeling about him but i have accepted that it all is the way it is and i no longer dream the way i used to.

I can just think of him as a friend now. 

So then the other big love...

I mentioned at some point that i saw a letter from person in my past. 

With him i had no contact for years...I did think many times how is he, what is he doing etc..

At first i was very overwhelmed. However for me again i feel that as much as i care about his well-being - i no longer see our future together.

Maybe this was the reason for m to come back to Ireland- to let my past go and move on?

Moving on... with those 2 i can't say much to laugh about.

I respect them and care for them and they are no laughing point.

But god it feels great to not long for someone you can not be with. 

Now i wanna talk about my first love when i was 18.

Yes nearly bloody 15 years ago...

Facebook... so we have chatted couple of times and we even swapped our numbers .. that maybe while i am in Estonia we may meet... Again.. i knew i will not have time for that as i never do and its okay.

To my surprise i was pretty shocked to receive a phone call from him today ( i never even saved his number on my phone.. its still on facebook messages)

Apparently he wants to meet, have kids and put a ring on my finger!!!! 

To my question am i being proposed over the phone now, he said that he will get down on one knee...

Great!! 

I have been dumped so many times in my life because they effing all go back to their exes - yet here they are!!! What the hell???!!!

If you ask, why do i even talk to them?? Cause i am nice and i dont mind being a friend. 

If i still have respect for that person.. i dont see a problem.

 we can't change how we feel about someone but i rather stay friends that end with fight´

Bloody hell if i was able to have sex with them for long enough time, then i am able to stay civil unless i have lost respect towards that person.

Other than that, it was nice being in Estonia.

I saw my friends and family ...

maybe about my holiday some day later....